5 Ways To Graciously Handle Advice

In this day and age of “everyone is a coach” advice is running rampant. It isn’t enough that you get advice from your friends and family, now complete strangers are offering it up!

We have blog after blog giving you advice, and video after video espousing wisdom. It has become a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week, 365 day a year ordeal. Phew!

So what do you do with all this ADVICE?

First of all! Ask yourself this question, “Did I ask for this advice”?

If the answer is yes, well then you get what you get! I find people ask for advice for two reasons.

1. They really want help with a decision

2. They really want to look like a victim or martyr.

Next question to ask yourself if you did in fact ask for advice, am I really wanting help or am I wanting to look like a helpless victim or martyr?

Those who are truly looking for advice will be receptive. They will consider each advice givers input and take steps to do what they have been advised.

Martyrs and victims will reject all advice and counter with even more proof of victimhood or martyrdom. These counterfeit advice seekers are easy to spot. Once the advice starts to come, the situation and the circumstances get bleaker and more desperate. The person is so painted into the corner they are nearly forcing those surrounding them to admit how awful their situation is. They are not looking to get out of the situation and in most cases are completely character assassinating another person, either a parent, spouse, boss, co-worker, etc.

If you get caught in this web of deceitful advice seeking – get out! This person is a black hole and not helpable.

Now, if you are getting solicited or unsolicited advice and are not quite sure what to do with it, here are my 5 steps to graciously handle ADVICE.

1. Listen

Really hear what the person is saying. Resist the urge to speak over them, resist the urge to be thinking of your response all the while they are speaking, and resist the urge to completely disregard them because they don’t have all the facts.

2. Consider

Consider the advice and how applying it in your situation may work. Even if it seems way out there, maybe it is the very solution you are looking for.

3. Ask Questions

Get clarity as to why the person thinks the way they do in consideration to your situation. Ask them about what in their background or experience that might make this advice super valuable to you.

4. Get A Second Opinion

If you are still struggling with the advice, get a second opinion from someone who you trust to give you reasonable advice. See what their perspective is, since you may be too close to the situation.

5. Throw It Out

You may be more likely to throw out the advice, especially if it is unsolicited. That is fair. And after reviewing the above steps you still consider it not worthy, throw it out. Just be careful if you asked for the advice and are now not taking it, you may be considered an ASKHOLE.